Mom Brain Confessions | Did I Just Think That?

EP 27 Mom Brain Confessions | Did I Just Think That?

Episode links

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3VAbizWXLLy0bXDiJ23veR?si=NJa-zimaQrCHygCuCyWEuw

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mom-brain-confessions-did-i-just-think-that/id1787931450?i=1000723436724

Keywords

motherhood, parenting, music, challenges, mom thoughts, family, personal growth, motherhood journey, parenting insights, motherhood humor

Summary

In this episode of the Little Mama That Could podcast, Kirsten and Mikaela share their personal experiences and reflections on motherhood, discussing the uplifting impact of music, the challenges they face, and the humorous thoughts that arise in their daily lives as moms. They emphasize the importance of self-acceptance and the notion that effort in parenting is what truly matters.

Takeaways

Music can significantly uplift our moods during tough parenting days.

It's common for moms to feel overwhelmed and question their capabilities.

Motherhood often brings unexpected and humorous thoughts.

The importance of community and support in parenting is highlighted.

Self-reflection is crucial in understanding our parenting journey.

Kids have their own paths and we can only guide them.

It's okay to feel like you're not doing enough sometimes.

Effort in parenting is more important than perfection.

Sharing experiences with other moms can be comforting and validating.

Every mom has unique challenges and thoughts that are worth discussing.

Titles

The Power of Music in Motherhood

Navigating the Chaos of Parenting

Sound bites

"Is that poop?"

"Am I doing enough?"

"You are enough."

Chapters

00:00 Musical Inspirations in Motherhood

08:52 Navigating Motherhood's Challenges

17:44 The Village Concept in Parenting

23:38 Reflections on Being Enough as a Mom

Episode Transcript

Kirsten Smith (00:00)

Hi, welcome back to Little Mama That Could podcast. Today we are going to be talking about secret thoughts that we've had throughout motherhood from seasoned moms. And before we get into that, as always, you know, we start off with a little mama update. I wanted to talk about Forrest Frank. I know I've mentioned him in past episodes, but he's been releasing a lot of new music that I feel like have been like home runs for me.

⁓ for a few songs that have just had me in a freaking choke hold. First one is called Lemonade. You have to go listen to it. I'm serious. Like it will put a smile on your face and it, when I'm having a bad moment, I will turn that song on and it literally changes the trajectory of my mood the rest of our day. Another one that I feel like was kind of actually written just for me. Thanks, Forest. ⁓ it's called Stay Law and.

It talks about just taking a moment and closing your eyes and kind of turning things over to God. And I feel like in motherhood, we want to control things, right? Like we want things to play out the way that we plan them. And I feel like this song is such a good reminder that we need to trust God. And then of course, the other one that he just came out with, it's called God's Got My Back, which is actually pretty funny because Forrest Frank broke his back and then

Wrote this song. So if you want to know more about that, go onto his Instagram. He has all of the videos on that, but yeah, that's my update. Loving his music. It is making such a big impact in our day to day life. And my kids just love it and seeing it all the time. And it makes me so, so, so happy.

Mikaela (01:48)

I love that so much. It's funny you say that because I too agree with everything you just said. Kennedy and I and Henry all are jamming out to him every single morning that we're driving. If there's a moment that is turning into a full-bone brawl in my car, I turn him on. I turn his music on and we all just like jam out to his music. And Kennedy's like, God's got my back.

And I love how catchy all of his songs are because they're super easy for my kids to remember and to repeat their songs. And I find them singing them and just cheerfully doing things and singing, God's got my back, you know, and I just love that.

Kirsten Smith (02:34)

And it's so cute

because it's true. God does have our back. And I feel like sometimes on the hard days of the hard moments, we tend to want to turn away from God. Right. Like, why is God letting this happen to me? But I feel like through his music, I it's almost like affirmations, including like God and Jesus, that my kids are saying again and again through his music. And like, I totally agree with what you're saying. Like it is.

Mikaela (02:59)

It's so good.

It's so good.

Kirsten Smith (03:01)

I love

that my kids sing along with it. like, I don't know, makes me feel like I'm not failing teaching my kids about God and Jesus at home.

Mikaela (03:11)

Well, he just released the song rock and we were jamming out to it in the car. Yeah, it did. Also, by the way, if you guys hear baby sounds, it's because I have Lexi with me. ⁓ but the song rock came out and me and Kennedy were listening to it in the car on the way to school. she goes, for us, Frank is just my vibe. He's just my vibe. And I was like, I love that. I love that so much. Like.

Kirsten Smith (03:16)

that came out today, huh?

Stop.

Mikaela (03:39)

He's my vibe too, Kennedy. So it's been a very positive impact. And I think a lot of people feel that way about his music and like what he's standing for and just making good freaking music and it being uplifting. It's like all the good things that I want in music. Like I think back to the music I listened to as a teenager and I, it was, I mean, let's be real, Lil Wayne.

and NMNM and Waka Flocka Flame and all these other artists and then also pop artists. I listened to a lot of that stuff in middle school and high school and it was not uplifting. And I listened to those songs sometimes I turn on, I'm like, oh my gosh, how did I listen to that? Also still bop, but how did I listen to that? And so.

Kirsten Smith (04:14)

Two chains.

Yes.

Mikaela (04:31)

It's so amazing to be hearing music come out like this, where I'm I'm vibing to this music. I'm jamming out. I can work out to some of this music and feel like it's giving me a boost of energy, but it like hits all of my favorite parts of music. And so it's, it's literally like a heaven sent, I feel like to our generation and to our kids. So amen. Okay. So my little mama update is that

Kirsten Smith (04:47)

Yes.

Amen.

Mikaela (05:01)

I'm, I feel like I am dealing with the new changes of our schedule and adapting to it pretty well. 5 30 a.m. wake up is kind of early as heck. And I haven't woken up that early in several years actually, like with intention and multiple days in a row. And I started it before school started so that I would be adapted semi to this easily.

to this 530 wake up time. And this morning I felt like I woke up and I just didn't feel tired the way that I have been feeling when I'd wake up at 530. And even though I have reasons to be tired, I'm feeling pretty good. ⁓ The other part of my update is just that my kids are really loving school and Henry had his first day and he loved it. He came home with, I mean,

I can literally cry with how joyful and happy he looked when he came home. He was glowing. He was happy. He just looked so full of light. And when I had prayed and thought about like what was going to be the good, a good fit for him for, ⁓ if school was going to be a good fit, if I should homeschool him this season, that we're in right now and what that like really looks like, I could not have expected or hoped for.

better. When he got in the car, he just had this big smile on his face and was just talking with so much happiness behind his voice that I just felt in my heart like this piece that went, ⁓ okay.

I just felt this peace that a hundred percent I made the right choice for him. And he's come home telling me like, I made a new friend today and I played doing this game and we did this and that and it was so fun. And I'm like, how was your day? He's like, it was so good. And yeah, so that is my current little mama update. I am just so happy with this decision and I'm excited to see how he grows this year.

Kirsten Smith (07:15)

No, I feel like just what I have seen literally is exactly what you were wanting. And I definitely feel like you were led to put him where he's at, because I feel like this is such a catalyst in his life. Like, I feel like this is totally a game changer and setting him up for success in so many different aspects. So I would agree that he's just so.

so happy and you can just see the light coming into his eyes and he's just exuding happiness. Like it makes me so, so happy. I also feel like I could cry seeing that.

Mikaela (07:53)

Well, I just, think that I've watched him go kind of, there's two different ways I've watched him. He's always been like this kid that has so much light and life to him and he's also kind of sensitive. And so going through a period of time where he was seemed just more weighed down and stressed out a little bit. And I'm sure it has a lot to do with just the changes in our household and just different things like that. I feel like it was.

kind of hard to watch. And that's honestly what brought me to this decision of how can I give him the best foot forward at the age that he is. And I feel like God's answering that prayer. And so I'm so excited to see, I'm so excited to see how it continues from here out. So, okay. So let's go ahead and jump into today's episode. This is kind of a lighthearted, so my goodness, Lexi, you are so chatty today.

This is going to be kind of a lighthearted episode, ⁓ but we thought it'd be kind of funny to share like random mom thoughts that we'd have in our day and just things that we don't often talk about or maybe we do talk about, but are just thoughts we never really thought we'd have as moms. So we'll start off with Kirsten. just, we made a little list of things that we thought.

Kirsten Smith (09:17)

Okay, if you can relate to this, please comment below and let me know I'm not alone. often, and I mean very often, sometimes on a daily basis, thoughts that go through my head are, I don't get paid enough for this. Which I mean, let's be real. The payment is that I get to be home with my babies and that is such a blessing and I do not take that for granted. But there are some days on the really hard days I think, man.

Mikaela (09:34)

Hahaha!

Kirsten Smith (09:46)

I wish I was being paid and even then it would need to be quadrupled because this is sometimes the payment does not feel worth it.

Mikaela (09:54)

⁓

yeah, sometimes like I think of like cleaning up vomit. I'm like, I am literally not being paid enough for this or like the sick days. Okay, the snuggles are great, but the days that drag on when they're still sick after day three are like, okay, I am going crazy. Yeah. One that came to my mind is how am I literally old enough to have this many kids?

Kirsten Smith (10:00)

my gosh. No.

Mikaela (10:23)

I have four kids and I'm like, I feel sometimes like, how did I get here? You know, of, just remember sometimes as me and Kirsten would talk about us teenagers, like one day we're going to have kids and that's going to be so weird when we have children one day. And I'm like, that one day is now we are in the one day that we talked about back way back when. And sometimes I feel like I'm still that teenager who is just figuring stuff out every day. And I'm like, how?

Kirsten Smith (10:24)

my gosh. Yes.

Mikaela (10:51)

Are they letting me take these babies home from the hospital to raise them and hopefully do a good job?

Kirsten Smith (10:57)

No, I'm with you on that. There have been so many moments where I'm walking into a store or I'm walking into church or whatever it may be that I'm like outside of my house. And I'm like, Oh, come on, Calvin, come on, Adeline, come on, Lori. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, there's more. Come on, Kaylee, come on, Andrew. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, I am not old enough to have this many kids. Like in my head, I stopped aging at 22. So when people are like, how old are you? My brain tells me I'm 22, even though.

I'm turning 31 this year. So like I'm with you all the time. I'm like, who let me do this? And second off, I'm not old enough for this, but I actually am. So.

Mikaela (11:38)

Yes.

Okay. Another one that came to my mind is, um, I was thinking about when I was homeschooling Kennedy. Oh my goodness. I swear I've explained this math problems a million different ways. How is, are they ever going to learn this? And I feel like that applies to a million aspects of motherhood, like potty training or learning to talk or walk or whatever. I'm like, are they ever going to learn this?

⁓ Especially in those ones where you're struggling to get them to learn a concept. Like, are you ever gonna get this? That's definitely a mom thought I've had a lot.

Kirsten Smith (12:12)

Yes.

Yeah. And I feel like it's hard because we as moms or even just adults or older people, we are like, how do you not get that? Like that's so simple, but for them it's like the first time or at this point that it's just hasn't stuck yet. And once it does stick, of course they will get it, but it's that in-between process that is so hard. So I'm with you. I'm like, how do you not get this? Like, I can't make this any more dumb down than it is.

Mikaela (12:46)

No, but literally.

Kirsten Smith (12:50)

So something that I did not ever think that I would ever say is actually from Monsters Inc. And so many times I have said, put that thing back where it came from or so help me. And I.

Mikaela (12:52)

⁓

That's

a good one.

Kirsten Smith (13:08)

I never thought, you know, when I saw that movie when I was a kid, I never thought, that's something I'm going to say. But now that I'm an adult with kids, I feel like it's something I say more often than I would like to. So.

Mikaela (13:21)

That's a good one. I was just thinking something that I have thought and said, but a lot of times thought is, my gosh, I sound just like my mother.

Kirsten Smith (13:31)

Yes. Or you're like, I know why my parents said what they said.

Mikaela (13:34)

I finally understand

why my parents said that. Yes. I'm like, there's been times I like, one that I think of immediately off the top of my head is because I said so. That was something that I was told as a kid and I was like never satisfied with because I said so. And my kids have said, well, what does that even mean? I'm like, ⁓ well.

Kirsten Smith (13:38)

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Mikaela (14:01)

It means stop asking me right now and come back to me later. That's basically what that means because I'm done trying to answer this question and or my answer is not changing and I'm done with this conversation or I've already explained it and they're not grasping what I'm trying to explain and I'm like, but never mind. It's because I said so. I just, I try to explain things to my kids. I try really hard.

Kirsten Smith (14:22)

Yeah.

Mikaela (14:26)

to make sure that I am not just leaving them in the dark and saying just because I said so. And sometimes I find that leads me down a path of I have now had to repeat myself way more than I thought I would have to, other than if just I said because I said so. All right, kids. All right.

Kirsten Smith (14:48)

Yeah, it's almost like signifying that you have pushed too far and it is what it is. Now stop talking to me or stop asking me this question.

Mikaela (15:00)

question. ⁓

Kirsten Smith (15:02)

Amen.

Amen. One thing that I tell Cody often, so I guess it's not like a secret in my head because Cody knows about it, but I often wish that there were six of me. Like if I could clone myself and then have six of me, there would be a cleaning Kirsten, a cooking Kirsten, a child taker, carer Kirsten, Kirsten, wife, the entrepreneur Kirsten.

And then there would be me, the original, and I could just like pop in on any of those things that I wanted to do or assign myself, but not actually me to do the things I don't want to do. you know, potty training, cleaning up when your kids are sick, getting up at night, whatever it may be. So yeah, I often wish that there were six of me.

Mikaela (15:46)

you

Don't we all? I mean, I don't necessarily know if I want to clone myself as a wife, but for sure, for all the chores and the extra responsibilities, that would be Chef's Kiss, truly.

Kirsten Smith (16:07)

I guess I could settle with four, like cleaning, cooking, business, and then just me, so four of us.

Mikaela (16:14)

Yeah,

yeah, no, I would totally like in on that if you ever find out a way. ⁓ I often think that sometimes, okay, if you guys have read Hunt, Gather, Parent, that book just made me wish that I had a village the way that they did in that book. And like more indigenous areas of the world.

where they all just like worked together and all took care of each other. And I have had moments, especially since reading that book where I'm like, dang, I wish I had that kind of village where if I just said, I really need to rest, Auntie so-and-so or grandma so-and-so is gonna come and is already in the house and it will take care of it, you know? And I will say,

that I feel like I absolutely have a village of people in my life that are absolutely amazing. I just sometimes wish that we went back to more like the simple times where things were just more simple versus the busyness that we have in our life and the society that we live in. That would be so amazing. So amazing to have that type of village in the way that they depicted in that book.

Kirsten Smith (17:35)

Well, I feel like I've seen not anyone that I personally know, but people are doing family compounds for that reason so that they can have their own village. Everybody has their own, you know, X amount of land, and everybody just helps each other. So I can I can see the appeal on that. And honestly, I would love a family compound one day. I still like had the name of that family compound. It sounds like

Mikaela (17:44)

Yeah!

I don't like the name.

I know.

Kirsten Smith (18:05)

⁓ yeah,

I totally agree. It kind of weirds me out if I'm being honest. Like, I feel like... Yes! Yes, it does.

Mikaela (18:09)

Compound sounds like a cult type of thing, but I have also definitely

talked about that with Tyler. I'm like, we should just go in on land with all of our family and we each get a good chunk of land so that we're not like too close, but we're really close enough to like ride over quickly, if that makes sense.

Kirsten Smith (18:29)

Yeah, no, I'm with you on that.

Mikaela (18:32)

Do you have any more?

Kirsten Smith (18:34)

I don't, but I can read one off of your list. Let me mark it.

Mikaela (18:38)

I can share a couple more too. And then we can just end and say, if you guys have any more you want to add. I have like a few. ⁓ Okay. One of the ones that I wrote on my list was, was that poop? Because

Kirsten Smith (18:46)

Okay.

How many

times? Or I wish this, I hope this is chocolate. Like please be chocolate, please be chocolate, please be chocolate.

Mikaela (19:00)

Yes,

I mean my kids will have like granola bars and they have the little chocolate pieces in them and then they'll fall on the couch and they'll get smeared and I'm like I hope that's chocolate, I hope that's chocolate, what's that poop? Especially ⁓ Colby, he does gross things like the other day he just took his diaper off and ran around the backyard with his diaper just he was hanging and it was a poopy diaper, he was just running around the backyard with a poopy diaper and he walks in and I'm like what is that?

awful smell. Was that, is that poop? ⁓ is that poop? That's poop. That's poop. my gosh. my gosh. And I had to like hurry and clean them up really fast. But I mean, the things like, I just didn't expect to say some of the things that I've said as a mom that like I'll pause and think, is that my life? Is this for real? Is this for real? For real? Okay.

Kirsten Smith (19:33)

no.

This is reminding me of that video where at the time the trend for the video was ask your kids to hand you toilet paper and you have melted chocolate and you like smear it on them as you grab the toilet paper. Do you remember this video? And the little girl's like, is that, that, is that poop? Is it? It was so funny. That's like our everyday life.

Mikaela (20:10)

Yes

Yes. Honestly,

that is, I, you know, I told Tyler, this is something I never thought I'd like have to deal with as much as when we got married, I told him, or before that he said he'd handle the throw ups. He'd take care of all of it. And I wouldn't have to worry about it because I always said that I had a really weak stomach. Well, gone are the days of that weak stomach. I don't really have that choice. I don't get that luxury of having a weak stomach.

And it's kind of like a mark my words kind of thing. Like, yeah, I could never. Well, I've definitely caught my kids vomit in my hands. Like I've absolutely done that. I've absolutely also like snagged a bull super fast and caught it and watched it. And then I got up with not even a bother in the world and took care of it like it was nothing. And I just never thought that I would get there. I never thought I could do that.

Kirsten Smith (20:56)

Yeah.

Mikaela (21:16)

I never thought I'd think that. I never thought that that was a possibility. Like, for real.

Kirsten Smith (21:22)

Right, when

it becomes easier to just catch it in your hand versus just let them.

you know, do what they're gonna do. Yeah.

Mikaela (21:26)

Yes.

Okay. The last one I wanted to share before we finish this episode is, um, this one, I thought, I've thought this many times. I'm like, I wonder if what I'm doing will ever be enough. Um, in those days that I'm having like a rough day, I'm like, am I doing enough? Like, are my kids learning enough? Am I being a kind enough mom? Well, the good things that I do counteract the bad that I do.

the things about me that maybe are a little broken that I'm working on healing. And I like to believe the answer is yes, that it's enough, you But something I also like to think about, I think about the book that we did a podcast episode on of, what was it called? The, the mom one.

What was her name? What's that book?

Kirsten Smith (22:21)

I don't know. Let me go find it real quick. Let me mark this.

Mikaela (22:23)

I'm forgetting.

trying to remember what it was.

I it was a good one.

Kirsten Smith (22:30)

The poss- no, it wasn't the possibility, Mom.

Mikaela (22:32)

Mm-mm.

Kirsten Smith (22:33)

We just have so many episodes, know, devil wait now ⁓ remaining you while raising them.

Mikaela (22:41)

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. In the book remaining you all raising them, something that she said is that these kids came with their own path and their own journey and is our job as moms to guide them. But we don't get to mold and create our children like they're putty. So I might make mistakes. I might mess up and do things and, and, not be who I imagined myself to be as a mom.

and who I want to be and who I'm striving to be for my children. I might not be that every single day and I try, but that does not mean that God doesn't already have a plan and a path for my kids. Like I don't get to pick and mold all the things that they do. And that stands true even watching it in my own family growing up. ⁓ You know, we had the same parents and each of my siblings were vastly different in the way that each of us have turned out how we've.

manage certain experiences, how we've handled life and made choices and where they've led us. And so there's definitely so many days where I've thought, I doing a good enough job? Am I going to send my kids to therapy? Am I going to be the reason my kids are in therapy one day? And the answer is that might be, you know, but also the other kid might say,

you crazy, mom was amazing, you just are missing it or they handled it differently or like how they internalize their experiences were totally different than the way another kid would internalize their experiences. So I kind of wanted to end on that thought. Did you have anything you wanted to add Kirsten?

Kirsten Smith (24:19)

Yeah, I did. Because I feel like this is something that I feel like a lot of moms relate to is, I doing enough? Is this enough? And I, I feel like we need to reflect on where the standard is and why we believe that that's the standard. Like why is that bar set to where it's at? Is that because of our own expectations of ourselves? Is that because that's what we see on movies or TV shows or social media?

And I think if you're asking yourself, am I doing enough? The answer is yes, you are doing enough. And you're taking time to reflect on what you can improve on. if obviously if there are things that you feel like you want to work towards, that's amazing. But if you're questioning if your efforts are enough, one of my favorite quotes, says, God loves effort. It doesn't say God loves perfectionism.

God only loves if you do things all correctly. God expects you to be 120 % at all times. No, God loves effort and our kids see those efforts. Whether you feel like you're doing a great job or not, your kids think that you're just the best. So you are doing enough.

Mikaela (25:35)

You are enough. And I would love to hear some of the random thoughts you guys have had in your mind or things that.

Kirsten Smith (25:36)

Yes.

Mikaela (25:43)

out.

Kirsten Smith (25:44)

can't see anything.

Mikaela (25:44)

Okay, I, yes. We would love to hear the random thoughts that you guys have had in your motherhood journey, things that you feel like you never thought you would say or you would think, or just something super funny. Share it with us on our social media at thelilmamathatcould. We love you guys and we look forward to chatting with you guys next week.

Kirsten Smith (25:45)

We would love to hear the random thoughts.

Yes.